Ch. 55 - A Day in the Life of LJ

Great guns, yer back! Pull up a chair n' sit a spell. Have I got a treat, special jus' fer ya'll!

There's sure has been quite a fuss made over Ms Liza Jane. Yessiree, ya'll have kept our mail guys n' gals busier than a one legged man in a butt-kickin' contest! So instead of makin' those poor people answer all that mail, we're gonna just tag along with LJ for a day and see what it is that she does all day. Yes indeedy!

But first, have I told ya'll how much I love bananas? Bananas, although a nutritious snack, are also sweet and good fer yer brain. Did ya'll know they make ya happy too? Yes indeedy, bananas make me very happy. Why I love bananas so much, that I got me this here shirt to profess my love of bananas. You can git yers here , compliments of BananasRRFriends Clothing. Wear it with pride ya'll. OK LJ, over to you!

*singing* You got the right stuff, baby. You got the right stuff..

Oh. Oh are we on? *ahem*
Liza Jane here, on the streets of Strangetown answering your questions and getting the gossip that...what? What's that? They're what? Following me around? All day? Who's idea was this!

Umm, ok well from the look on my producers face, I either go along with this or he's going to do something that involves rearranging my facial structure.

Well, here goes nothing. Meet ya back here at 7am sharp tomorrow morning. Hang on to your tightie whities viewers.

*The next day...*


Ohhhh how much did I have to drink last night? How'd he get here? Crikey. Oh well, time for breakfast.


Geez O Pete's, now I know I drank too much last night. I'm seeing a chick with a banana gun on her shirt. If I ignore her, she'll go away. Meanwhile I'll just drink my breakfast and practice for my scene in "Basic Instinct 3".

Halloo? I'd like to take a bath now. Must we have camera's in the potty room too? A little privacy please?

Help yourself to the donuts. Don't touch the pink ones, they're mine. Don't touch the ones with the sprinkles either. They're mine too. Or the blueberry ones. Or the...oh heck, just have some cereal.

I feel like there is something that I should remember about last night, but it's the darndest thing...oh well, it'll come to me.

*INTERMISSION*


ALL RIGHT, WHO PUT THE BABY ON THE FLOOR?! This is not a funny joke guys! You know I'm highly allergic to babies. Heavens to Betsy, what died in it's pants?

So, let's take this one step at a time here. I had a party last night. I remember dancing.


I know I danced with Lilly, but I have no idea who that one guy was. I think he wandered in off the street. Most of my nearest and dearest friends were here. The last thing I remember clearly is the awesome hickey I got. I can't believe it didn't leave a mark.


After that, it's all a blur.

Whoa Nelly, talk about Hangover City.

I must have bitten my cheek really hard during the night because I can still taste the blood in my mouth. Eww.

I hope I didn't do anything last night that I'm going to regret.

*laughing* Nahhhh.

Enough about that, time for work. I hear there's some juicy stuff going on at Beauty by Amelia.

*INTERMISSION*

So here we are at Beauty by Amelia. There seems to be some ruckus going on over in the makeover department.

Tell me...just what happened here?

Customer 1: Just look at what she did to my face! Your ad said you specialized in alien complexions. Amelia YOU SUCK!

Customer 2: Yeah and she made me look like some kind of circus freak! I want my money back!
LJ: Uh, Amelia said it was a free makeover. You can't refund "free", Toots.
Customer 2: Oh yeah. Well then I want a free bar of soap!


We're happy to report that Customer # 2 (Erin Singles) got another free makeover, and this one turned out much better. Customer # 1 fled the scene and is currently running amok in Strangetown, looking stranger than ever. Police warn to use caution when approaching the Bad Makeoveree - she is to be considered armed and dangerous.

Whew! That was a lot of work. I'm beat. I'm also ending this whole "Follow LJ around" thing. It's cramping my style. I think I'll go home, kick my feet up and have a Bloody Mary. Mmmmm Blood...y Mary. That sounds good.

<- ALL ABOARD! / RODERICK GETS HIS GROOVE ON ->